"Not me!" Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

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It's been awhile since my last "Not me!" Monday post. I guess that I just haven't done anything embarrassing in weeks.... or maybe not.

• My 4 year old did not look at me with a confused and horrified expression on his face and say, "Mommy, WHAT....IS...THAT?!?!" when I got the ironing board and iron out the other day. Only a child who has never seen his mother iron would have such a reaction to watching her press a pair of pants. That is just not the case at our house. I meticulously iron all of our clothing. We are definitely not wash & wear type of people. Not us.
• Last week in a frantic rush to pick up Clayton from preschool I did not decide that absolutely could not bear to look at all of the trash that had accumulated in my car. I did not then rush to clean out my car and throw away all of the trash in the gigantic city-issued trash receptacle that is in our garage. In my haste, I did not mistakenly throw my car keys into said trash receptacle. After realizing my error, I did not then rush inside and beg my husband to reach deep into the disgusting trash can to retrieve my keys. Only someone who is completely scatterbrained would accidentally throw her keys in the trash and then have the gall to beg her kind husband to fish them out. I am not that type of girl. Not me!
• My baby boy did not have an explosion of a diaper as soon as our airplane took off for California. No sir, not that precious little pumpkin! I did not then feel the need to document the blow out so that I could remind him of the embarrassment that he caused me one day...
  
  That would just be cruel. The poor defenseless baby was on antibiotics and couldn't control his bathrooming issues...
• I did not then realize that the bathroom was barricaded off for take off and panic about where I was going to change the mess of a diaper. I certainly did not resort to changing my baby in my lap. That would be disgusting/messy/ridiculously difficult/unsanitary/inconsiderate/etc. I would never do such a thing.
• I did not run around Target like a crazy woman in a complete and total panic when I was certain that our diaper bag (with my wallet, cell phone, and camera in it) had been stolen. I did not warn every person in the toy department that there was a theif in the store, and then proceed to find the security gaurd and have him replay all of the recent hidden camera footage in search of the crook. All of this hoopla was not totally unfounded when my husband realized that he had switched our original cart for one that wasn't as squeaky and left our diaperbag on the original cart. Ooops! We would never be the center of such antics!

That's all I have folks! I hope you got a laugh out of the craziness that surrounds me. Maybe now you realize why Wade says that being married to me is like living out repeated I Love Lucy episodes. :)