Today I...

Today I:

• got up early, didn't get a shower, ran around the house like a chicken with my head cut off, and was still late dropping Clayton off at preschool.
• did "kissing hands" 5 times with Clayton because he is having trouble right now with separation anxiety.
• searched (to no avail) for the perfect material to make curtains out of for our living room.
• bought some fabulous fabrics to make pillows out of, knowing full well that it will be weeks (maybe months) before I can get my act together enough to actually sew them.
• took a mental picture of Drew's gummy grin and silently prayed that time would stand still right at that very moment.
• left my groceries (except for the few cold things that I threw into the refrigerator/freezer) on the countertop all afternoon because there wasn't a spare moment to put everything away.
• held a child that is far to big for my lap, just because he wanted to snuggle with his Mama.
• listened to Drew cry inconsolably for 2 hours straight. :( I'm wondering if I should take him to the pediatrician to have his ears looked at. He was just not himself today. It was enough to break my heart.
• resorted to the baby equivalent of crack cocaine (a.k.a. a Baby Einsteins DVD) to calm my baby, even though I know that the AAP doesn't recommend allowing children under 2 to watch TV. Desperate times call for desperate measures, people, and I was beyond desperate.
• second guessed my abilities as a mother, wife, daughter, and friend.
• listened intently in the car as Clayton explained to me that "Saturn has rings, but they don't even fall off."
• wept for 2 of my friends that I know are experiencing loss and tragedy. If only I could take away a little of their pain...
• spent 30 minutes talking to Wade's boss before I realized that my shoulder was covered in spit up. Nice.
• teared up at the mere thought of Clayton going to kindergarten.
• laughed as I pressed my ear up to Clayton's door and heard him telling his stuffed animals, "God and Jesus are the same person. God has special rules for babies and little kids. They get to go to heaven 'cause their too little to understand about Jesus."
• missed my husband and wished that he had a "regular" 9-5 job.
• felt guilty for being short with Clayton when I was frustrated and he just wanted to get my attention.
• didn't even start my 3 loads of laundry until 9 pm. It's going to be a looong night.
• wished that someone had told me how hard, yet completely fulfilling, motherhood could be.
• am completely and totally exhausted.
• was the mother of two precious little boys. And, the good news is that I get to do it all over again tomorrow. :)