"Not Me!" Monday

* I did not hang up, fold, and put neatly in drawers an entire huge load of laundry and then mention to my husband that my white socks were still a bit dingy. He did not then point out to me that I hadn't yet washed that load. What?!?! Who would be so scatterbrained that they put away a load of DIRTY clothes. Not I, that's for sure. I am organized and orderly.

* I did not then have to go through the closet and drawers to fish out all of the above laundry to put them back in the laundry basket to be washed. (Ooops!)

* I did not greet my friend, Megan, (who lives in Canada and I only get to see on a very rare occasion) at the door with an "Oh my gosh, he just puked all over me!" as baby spit up dripped from my hair and down my right shoulder. That would be rude and disgusting! If my sweet friend had flown across the country and then driven an hour just to see little 'ole me, I would greet her at the door with a warm welcome and a hug. That would be the proper thing to do. And I am proper. (Thanks for the visit Megan! Ahem, I mean if you had visited and gotten such a distasteful greeting, that is.)

* I did not say (loudly) in a crowded public place, "Yes! I got it!" accompanied by a fist pump to celebrate the stubborn booger that I had finally removed from Drew's nose. That would be gross and embarrassing. I did not then scan the room to see how many sets of eyes were starring at me. Hmmm... that really would be mortifying, if it had happened!

* My baby did not spit up directly on my crotch while I was holding him during one of our family Christmas celebrations. I did not spend the next few hours trying to camouflage the fact that it looked exactly like I had wet myself. (Ah, motherhood - it brings out the best in all of us, doesn't it?)

I think that is all of the embarrassing things that did not happen to me this week. (At least all of the ones that I am willing to publicly admit!) Will you people ever tire of reading about my crazy antics? No? I didn't think so... :)