Letter to My Birthday Boy!

My Dearest Drew,

It is very early in the morning on October 23, 2009. It’s not even dawn yet, but I woke up and couldn't fall back asleep. I keep saying in my head, “Drew is 1! My baby really is 1 today.” No matter how many times that I repeat that thought, I still can’t wrap my mind around the fact that today is your first birthday. Oh, precious Baby Boy, what an amazing year this has been!

As a first-time mom, when your brother was a baby, so much of my time was spent just trying to figure out what to do. I worried and fretted constantly. I wanted so badly to do things “right.” I read books and constantly polled my friends in my never ending search to figure out the perfect way to raise my firstborn. When Clayton turned one, I had this feeling of accomplishment at the thought of having my first year as a mother under my belt.

When you were born, I was all too aware of how quickly this first year would go by. I knew that the next 12 months would be compiled of hundreds of thousands of fleeting moments that I would want to etch into my mind forever. I wanted to really savor every minute of your babyhood. I feel like I have done just that. I have stopped so many times and reminded myself to just sit and soak in the moment. I enjoyed every minute of your first year. It has been a year filled with precious moments that I will never forget – so many “firsts” for you.

If I sit and close my eyes, I can replay all of the highlights. I remember the first glimpse I got of your precious cherub-like face, the fears that I had when they admitted you to the NICU, introducing you to all of our family & friends, bringing you home, the way your newborn head smelt, the sleepless nights when you were suffering through reflux, your first smiles, your first Christmas, the first time that you rolled over, taking you to Disneyland as a 6 month old babe, how big you looked when you learned to sit up by yourself, the sound of your first coos that turned into babbles, when you learned to pull yourself to a standing position, the first time that you said da-da (and later ba-ba and ma-ma), the first time that you waved, the first time that you gave me a big slobbery baby kiss, your first steps, and so many moments in between. My, how far you have come in just 365 short days!

I love you being a baby and your brother being 4 ½. You two fill my days with so much joy. If I could stop time right now, I would. I’d be lying if I said that I don’t think about that possibility often. If given the opportunity, I would spend the rest of my days as the mother of a pre-kindergartner and a baby, and I would be happy as a clam. I’d jump on that chance in a heartbeat! But, if I really think about that ridiculous concept, I realize that I would miss out on so much. You two darling boys have a whole lifetime of memories to make. Today marks the end of a wonderful chapter, but is only the very beginning of a very long novel. I can’t wait to read more of your story!

I love you to pieces and I’m thrilled that I get to spend the rest of my days watching you grow! You are more precious to me than you will ever know.

I love you more today than I did yesterday, but not as much as I will tomorrow!

~Mommy