Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Must Love Dogs...

Alright, so this may make me seem cold-hearted and awful, but I have to share a bit of truth about myself. It's not something that I'm proud of, but it's who I am. So, I'm just going to own it and be okay with publicly admitting it.

I don't like dogs.

There. I said it.

Yes, we have a dog. Yes, I grew up with dogs. Yes, puppies are very cute. But... puppy breath makes me want to gag. Dogs smell "outsidey" all of the time. They also shed and sometimes tee-tee in the house. So, they are just not my thing. My husband and my children love animals, so I have made peace with the fact that we will probably always have a dog. However, if it were up to me, we would be a pooch free home.

If that makes you dislike me, I'm so sorry. Some of my very best friends LOVE their dogs. I think that's great. I really don't mind other people's dogs. It's just the upkeep of having a dog that I don't care for. I like people - preferably the small child or baby variety. The maintenance involved in raising little people thrills me to no end. I just can't put forth the same effort to an animal that can't talk to me or return my love in a human way.

Anyhoo... Last Thursday, we were driving home from preschool. Clayton and I were chatting about his day and Drew was babbling away. As I pulled into our neighborhood, this small black thing darted in front of my car. I thought that it was a bird at first. I slammed on my brakes so as to avoid hitting the "bird." Well, it turns out that it was actually a small dog. As I stopped to get a spatial sense of where the dog was and to recover from the fact that I almost hit it. The dog decided to walk back under my car.

At this point, I muttered something along the lines of, "Ugh, stinkin' dog!" Clayton pipes up from the backseat with, "Mama, why don't you like dogs and cats?" Me: "Well, I just don't care for them, Son." Clayton: "Mama, we're supposed to love all of God's creations."

Moral lessons from my almost 5 year old. Awesome.

So... I scooped up the dirty dog and put her in my clean car. She was a dark chocolate brown pug dog. Now, I don't know how to say this nicely, but.... bless her heart.... Girlfriend was p-ugly!

I went into a long banter as I drove home about how our job was to find her owner. She WAS NOT our dog to keep.

Of course, as soon as we walked through the door Clayton carried her into the house and announced to Wade, "Daddy! We got a new puppy!" Lovely.

We immediately gave her a bath. We made "Found Dog" posters with her picture on them. We (by this point, my sweet neighbor and her daughter had joined in our mission to find the dog's owner) drove around the neighborhood for an hour and a half searching for the dog's owner and taping posters to all of the major intersections.

About an hour after we got home, I got a phone call from the rightful owners. They were coming to get their adored little pug, Sonya. When they got to our house, they were happy to be reunited with their beloved dog. Apparently, Sonya is a naughty little thing and has escaped their yard twice now. And, get this...

She's pregnant!

Can you just imagine me in a few months in our laundry room assisting in the birth of puppies?!?! Yeah, that would have been a real scream...

Before you get worried, Clayton was not at all scarred by the owners retrieving their dog. He hugged her bye and went on about his business playing his friend.

When I called Wade to tell him that we found Sonya's owners and that she was "with pups." His reply was, "Well, did you get firsts dibs on a puppy?"

Sometimes it's like he doesn't even know me... :)


Matt and Sarah Pitts said...

So funny!! Well, friend, you are in good company because I do NOT like dogs either. In fact, I once used the word "hate", but that's a bit strong. I don't think they're adorable, even when friends insist they are. I don't think they should have last names. But the funny thing is we came to the country, and our here dogs chase cars, carry sticks in their mouths, and live outside and eat scraps. It's utterly charming to see a dog acting like...a dog! Go figure!


Hannah said...

The word pee-pee makes me giggle! And FYI, I'd have a dog-free house too if I could go back in time. But I did hear the other day that kids that grow up in houses with dogs have higher IQs or better social skills or something like that.

Albus Adventures said...

I always wanted a pug dog!!! LOVE her! Can I get dibs on a puppy?

Matt & Cindy Fleharty said...

I am so impressed you put that dog in your car and let her come into your house!! Matt gets so annoyed that I pick up lost dogs :) Just be glad she didn't go into labor at your house!!