Getting Schooled...

Warning: This post does not contain any pictures or funny stories. This is one of those "this is what's on my heart" type of posts. :)

Since I became a mother 4 years, 10 months, and 1 day ago (who's counting, right?), I have uttered the same prayer over and over and over again. It is a deeply theological prayer that is so profound that many pastors would marvel at it, I'm sure. It goes a little something like this:

"Lord, please don't let me mess them up."

I know, I know - I'm deep like the ocean.

Seriously, though, that is the prayer that I have said every single day. My biggest fear is "messing up" when it comes to my children. I don't want to look back in 20 years and wish that I had done things differently. I don't want to think, "Oh man, if only I had made a different decision way back when Clayton was 4 years old, things would have been so much better..." I can stomach failure in other areas of my life (career moves, financial choices, etc.), but I just can't bear the thought of failing when it comes to my kids.

Which brings me to the biggest struggle that I am dealing with right now. I have worried about it constantly, cried many a tear about it, talked my poor friends' ears off about it, and prayed about it multiple times a day for the last few months. Clayton will be going to kindergarten next year, and I don't know what method of schooling is best for him.

We have been debating homeschool vs. private school vs. public school ad nauseum at our house. I think that what has me the most baffled is that I don't feel passionately about any of them. Whenever I ask my friends about what they think, 99% of them have very strong opinions. And, that is what has me so confused - I don't feel strongly one way or the other. I see so many benefits with each method of schooling, that I don't want to choose. I'd love to do them all. One day I will feel certain that the Lord is leading us to public school. Then the next day, I wake up and think that private is the way to go. Then the following day I fervently searching for homeschooling curriculum. I'm so confused...

So, here are the pros for each, that I have come up with:

Homeschooling:

• Wade & I would get to pick the curriculum and would be in control of what he was learning. We could focus on the material that we feel is most important.
• The schedule would be more flexible. I would, of course, follow the school district's calendar and set a daily schedule that works for our family. The benefit would be that we could start school a little later in the day (like at 9am instead of 8am), if we chose to.
• I would get to spend all day with Clayton and wouldn't feel like I was missing anything while he was at school.
• On a totally selfish note, I think that homeschooling would be fun. The geeky part of me would love to re-learn all of the basic stuff from school that is hidden under cobwebs in my brain. I know that making out lesson plans and searching for learning opportunities would be A LOT of work, but that's the kind of thing that I enjoy. :)

Private School:

• Clayton would be taught by teachers that profess to be Christians and have signed a statement of faith upon being hired.
• The curriculum would be faith based. This was my favorite part of going to a Christian high school. I loved learning history especially from a biblical perspective. Our senior Bible teacher was also our history teacher. I loved how she would connect the historical events that I had been taught in history throughout my life with what Biblical events were taking place at that time. I never cared much for history, but I found Mrs. F.'s class fascinating for that reason alone.
• Uniforms - Okay, so I know that this may seem like a silly pro for private school, but it is was a big deal to me. I loved wearing uniforms! I felt like it put us all on the same playing field as far as clothing was concerned. There weren't brand names or fashion trends to worry with. We all looked the same. And, when you are a teenage girl who never feels like you have the "right" clothes, uniforms are a blessing. Uniforms also required girls to dress modestly. Your skirt and shorts had to be a certain length and the tops were not fitted at all. If you were, in any way, breaking the dress code, you were sent home. Period. End of story.
  
• Clayton would be going to Bible and Chapel. While Wade & I feel strongly that we are the ones who are responsible for nurturing our children's spiritual growth, it would be nice to know that our values are being reinforced in a school setting.

Public School:

• We live in a really great school district. One of the main reasons that we chose this area was because of the schools. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that our kids would get an academically strong education from our public schools.
• These formative years are a great chance for our kids to "learn to discern" (thanks for that key phrase, T!). I feel like public school will give us lots of opportunities to discuss moral topics with our kids. I want to be able to tell them why our family believes what we do and why certain things are biblically wrong.
  
• I feel like there are TONS of opportunities for "extra" activities in public schools. Choir, band, orchestra, LOTS of sports, debate team, art, drama, student government, etc. are all activities that are offered in public schools. These enrichment activities help kids find their niche and make them well rounded.
  
• The biggest pro that I have come up with for public school is that our kids would be around kids that don't come from Christian homes. While I know that most Christians view this as a negative, I think it is a huge benefit. Public schools are our nearest mission field. What if God uses Clayton or Drew to witness to another child? How awesome would that be! I feel strongly that we, as Christians, are called to be the salt & the light of the world (Matthew 5:13-16). If all of the Christian parents in the world pull their kids out of public schools, then who will be the salt & the light to the precious children right here in our own neighborhoods.
  

After rereading what this post, I am more confused than ever! I have gotten so much wisdom from my smart hubby and sweet pals on this topic. But, I'd love to hear from others. What do you think? What do you see as strengths for each method? I'd love your input!